Stuck with the Retards
by LoveIsForTheHopeless
Summary: A new girl gets put onto Naruto, Sakura, and Sai's team. Her name's Kyra and she is like nothing they have have ever seen before! Rated:T for hints of Yaoi, bad words Thanks Hidan , and some third thing....
1. Chapter 1

**Hi pplz! I'm Kyra and I ish the writer of this story. There are a few things you might wanna know.**

((Me talking))

_**Bold and italics is flashbacks! **_((yay....-_-''))

_Italics is thoughts_

**I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THIS OC!!!!!! IF I DID OWN THIS, DON'T YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE MORE AKATSUKI NUDITY?!**

**Okay thats it now you read the story** **and review. Thnx. Peace out!**

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"Team, please welcome Kyra Miztu to Konoha." Tsuande read off of the paper the new girl had handed her. Kyra stood infront of the team looking down at her shoes, a notebook was clutched close to her chest. Her hoodie/cloak fell to about her knees and covered her entire body, face included. The only thing you could see was the few strands of red and black hair and her ninja boots.

"Finally, maybe we can get someone else then Sai!" Naruto yelled, jumping unexpectedly, okay not so unexpectedly, in place. Sakura slunk down to the floor.

"Naruto..Why do you have to be so retarded.."

And of course Sai was being all 'I have no feelings, blah blah blah...'

_Great all I need, An idiot, A prep, and an unemotional douche...._

"Kyra come to us from a small place near Suna. She will be a great person for your team...cause god knows you need the extra help" The Hokage said, shaking her head slightly.

_Even better their team sucks...._

"Please treat her like you would anybody else. And Naruto...Try not to over do it..." She said."Now, get the hell out of my office."

_So she can get drunk...._

"Hai!" The team responded. Sakura quickly grabbed Kyra's hand and pulled her out of the room.

"Frist thing we need to do, is get you some nice clothing. TO KONOHA MALL!" Sakura yelled running off to said horror of ninja world, dragging the poor girl behind her like some puppy.

_AHHH! SAVE ME! A PREP HAS GOT ME HOSTAGE!_

"Sakura-chan! I wanted to spend time with her!" Naruto yelled, running after the girls.

Sai stayed behind and simply looked around. After he saw no one was around...

"Hehe...penis..." He whispered, before walking after his teammates.

----

**Messing with people is fun! Even thought Kyra is going to the mall with Sakura, I bet she'll find something good! OMG! SPOILER ALERT!**

**-KAM**


	2. Chapter 2

"This is Konoha Mall! The greatest thing since the birth the Sasuke Uchiha!"

"Who?"

"Oh, yea...New girl..." Sakura half-smiled and rubbed the back of her head. They were standing out side of a large building. Kyra looked up to see "KONOHA MALL" in giant green letters. Naruto and Sai had finally caught up and Naruto laid on the ground trying to breath. "Well, lets go. First off, we need to get you something that doesn't cover your face."

Sakura dragged Kyra through the doors leaving the boys behind.

"Why do girls have to be so annoying?" Naruto asked, not really talking to anyone.

"Because girls are troublesome..." A voice said from the left of the blonde ninja.

"Maybe if you would be a little less lazy, I would be nicer, Shikamaru!" A another voice yelled, this time a female.

Naruto looked up at Shikamaru and Ino as they walked up to the mall. Shikamaru was handcuffed to Ino's belt and wasn't enjoying it as much as another ninja in his place would. He just looked up at the sky, trying to ignore the girl dragging him into the mall with her.

"Shikamaru...Why are you with Ino?" Naruto asked, not really wanting the answer, but got one anyway.

"She could get Choji to go with her...." Shika looked down at him and sighed. "This is real drag for once..."

On cue, Ino run off somewhere and dragged Shika behind her. Naruto looked up at Sai, who was leaning against a concrete pole.

"What are we doing then?"

"Maybe you should should buy a bra, Naruto-kun..." Sai fakely smiled and Naruto pretty much tackled him to the ground.

------MEANWHILE!-----

"Come on! Let me see already!" Sakura yelled from a bench outside of Hot Topic. Kyra had ran into it knowing the Sakura would surely combust if she even thought about walking after her.

"NEVER!" Kyra yelled, hiding behind a random person in the store, trying not to be seen by the pink-haired girl. This all was happening since when Kyra had ran into the store, the clerk made her take off her cloak, revealing her hair and clothes. Kyra didn't want anyone to see her so she hide until Sakura was going to leave, which thank god was about to happen riiiight-

"OMG! LOOK A DISTRACTION!" Someone random yelled and Sakura being well...Sakura, quickly looked over for long enough for Kyra run away and into the bathroom. Where was this bathroom you ask...This is Naruto: nothing here makes a lick of sense!

"Kyra?!" Sakura yelled running in a random directing looking for said ninja.

Kyra ducked her head out of the door to see her running away and sighed. She happily walked out of the bathroom and right into the person in front of her

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"Ow, my head..." Kiba said, rubbing his head. He was walking to the bathroom to get away from a mopping Shino, when a girl had walked into him. He looked up at her and nearly had a heart attack.

The girl was pretty as pretty can be. Red hair with black highlights that went down to her waist, pale skin, and as she opened her eyes, his jaw dropped a bit. Emerald eyes starred back at him outlined in thick black eye-liner. She held her head in her hands, which had X's on the back of them, to her head for a second before pulling herself up from the ground. He looked up at her from his spot still on the floor. He just now noticed her clothing. Her outfit resembled a bit of an ANBU black op's, but it was only a skirt and tube-top with mesh underneath the top and see-through selves. Both had thick purple straps on them. Her boot, which went to about mid-thigh, were much like the rest including the purple straps. Around her neck was a striped green collar with a cross.

She looked down at him with her green eyes. "Sorry about that, should have watching more. You need some help up?"

He looked up at the hand that was extended to him and gladly took it. He got pulled up by the beauty. He smiled and held onto her hand, shaking it slightly.

"The name's Kiba, what's yours?"

"Nice to meet you, Kiba. Kyra at your service." She returned the smile and her hand.

Before anyone could say anything a loud bark interrupted them. Kiba looked over to Akamaru charging at them.

"SIT BOY!" He yelled and the large dog sat/slide on the uncarpeted flooring. His teammates run up behind him.

"S-sorry, Kiba-kun, Akamaru g-got off the ch-chain..." Hinata stammered, as usual. And Shino stood there, as usual.

"It's okay, Hinata, Akamaru's a big dog, he get loose from everything!" He said laughing slightly.

----------------------

Kyra looked at the three or kinda four people infront of her.

_Is everyone here like this? Please, oh please, no!_

"Well...It was nice meeting you Kiba..I got to go grab something...Bye!" Kyra said before disappearing in a poof of smoke.

She reappeared, walking out of Hot Topic, with her cloak back on. She didn't like the way people looked when they saw her without it. She had walked only a few steps before being knocked onto the ground by yet another person.

_Can't people watch where they walk!?_

"Tobi is sorry! Tobi can't see out form behind Sempai's bags! Is the girlie okay?" The guy said. Kyra could see from behind said bags, but could easily see the Akatsuki cloak underneath them.

_An Akatsuki....could it really be?_

A flash of fire went through her mind before she looked up at the person.

"Its okay...Just try not to kill someone, okay?" She laughed slightly, before getting up from the floor once more.

"Okay! Tobi will be more careful! Now, if only I knew where sempai was..." Kyra had walked away far before Tobi could continue. She looked around the mall from the darkness of her cloak to see Naruto with Sai and the horror from the beauty salon.

_There goes my fun...._

"Come Kyra! The mall is closing soon!" The blonde yelled, waving his arm. A smile plastered onto his face. "We still need to walk you home!"

_Maybe...I could get used to this..._

Kyra smiled behind her darkness and walked off with them.

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-yay! I feel special! R&R PLZ!

-Ja ne


	3. Chapter 3

**I haven't written in so fucking long! -flails- I've been so busy with cosplay, rope-play, my new girlfriend, and all this other shit~ I totally forgot I made Stuck With The Retards! How could I forget my favorite fanfiction I made...so far at least xD If you don't notice the difference of my writing now and my writting before good, cuz I think I changed a bit. The humor is a bit more well, funny and there will be emotional and crying moments from here on in. Well, enjoy! And thanks to my first reviewer! I gots surprise for you! -drags out Kyra from a closet-**

**Kyra: Where am I?**

**Here~ Read this and respond: **one word ... weird.. and Tobi YOU BLOCKHEAD ITS CALLED A SHADOW CLONE USE ONE!! lol.. okay afar from that keep up the good work. I like the description of her outfit, I dress kina like that but I don't wear skirts. lol and..*manical laughter echoes* please update soon.. oh and I thought of a character from Teen Titans if you don't know who look her up.. and no she doesn't have green eyes. lol

**Kyra: I am weird, and proud! Um, Tobi is kinda a blockhead, but it isn't his fault. Its all because of his pretend thing since he is Ma-**

**-slaps- No spoilers!**

**Kyra: -rubs cheek- fine....Anyway, he is infact a blockhead as you said. And thanks, KAM, the writer, will be continuing her good work, cause if she doesn't I'm a failed experiment. I rather not be a failed experiment. I still want to have my sequel in the Ouran world and the Death Note World. Also, my outfit is one of a kind, ANBU black op outfit. -pouts- Now, KAM will be updating right now~ Anything else, oh-mightyy creator?**

**Nope 8D**

**Kyra: Okay, now start the damn chapter!**

**---**

**This is a public service annoucment~ KAM in no way owns Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, Inuyasha, Death Note, Ouran, Shrek, or anything else in this. Kyra is nothing but an experiment. If you want to freak out cause she stole 'your man'. Suck it~ Thank you and have a great day 8D**

**---**

Kyra was having a monologue inside her head at the moment. Not wanting to listen to Sakura talking about Sasuke or whatever his name was, or Naruto talking about Sakura, or even Sai tal-....Sai was walking, what more can I say? She looked back at the people she had met today.

Let tune into to her thinking: Naruto reminded her of a kid who just got a barbie dream house on Christmas with a real life pony. He had a thing for orange, ramen, and Sakura. Now Sakura reminded her of one of those girls on T.V. You know the ones, the ones that complain about everything possible. It wasn't that Kyra hated her, she just would be far better if she was dead. Sai...Sai was alright...Kinda creepy though....

Kiba was cute, but kinda weird when he yelled "SIT BOY!"(1) Hinata was shy, but if Kyra had the chance, they would have gotten along just fine. Shino...Shino was in fact a tree, no doubt about it, no saying otherwise. Shino is a mother-fuckin' tree! (2)

She hadn't met anyone else, except the Akatsuki member named Tobi (who seemed a bit out of it when she bumped into him), and she was kinda happy aboout meeting no one else. This village was far different then the Rock village in many ways.

"We're here!" Naruto yelled, waking Kyra from her daydream. They were standing outside our main person's house. This was home...kinda. Boxes were still outside due to her laziness and not wanting to unpack. "I'll help you with the unpacking tomorrow before we leave for the training grounds if you like."

This caught her off guard. She looked at him, a bit amazed of such an offer. "That would be perfect..." she finally said. She then noticed the dazed look on his face, but didn't understand was he was stunned. This was the first time he heard her voice all day. She looked up to the sky, noticing the sun disappearing. It wasn't that she was going to become an ogre (3), but she needed to get away from the team. "Well...its late and I need to sleep, ya' know, training tomorrow and all...BYE!"

She quickly ran inside, her hood falling off in the process. The three ninja outside only stood there in shock. She tends to make people stare, huh?

---

Kyra looked at herself in the mirror, growling slightly. "My dear friend...Why are you so emo?" Kyra laughed, twirling around. Her eyes were shining ice blue as well. She felt like she should be hanging out with a guy with red spiked hair with this cloak on then here in Konoha. (4) You may have noticed the incredible difference in personalities. This is Momoka Hi-tari. She's not our main person, but in a way she is. This is Kyra's curse. She must share her body with the soul of Momoka Hi-tari. Momoka pulled off the cloak and the rest of Kyra's clothing and put on her own. With her clothing in tact, she disappeared into a shadow upon her wall.

---

**1- Yesh, its from Inuyasha**

**2- I don't remember what I read on here, but it was called Calender by someone? xD I can't remember who wrote it though...**

**3- Shrek~**

**4- Kingdom Hearts: Axel -drools-**

**Well, here we go! Momoka was made so long ago. I wanted to do something with Sasuke for the next chapter and the first thing that popped into my head was Momoka kissing him, making him smile, and then saying "Ladies and Gentlemen! Gather around for a miracle! The mighty Sasuke Uchiha has smiled. Thank you thank you!" Momoka has always been a cocky bitch, which is why I love her. You should all be happy that I didn't put in Savion... -shudder-**

**Anyway! Stay turned for the next chapter, which I would love to finish by the end of the week! But I doubt it....I'm so busy with my Ouran role-play. I be Tamaki and it's pretty fun being able to be a complete spaz xD Also, if you enjoy Kuroshitsuji (AKA- Black Butler) I should be making a fanfiction for that too. I already have a few cases for Ciel and his smexii butler of his~ Mmm~ Seba-chan...**

**That was a Grell moment...**

**Buh baii all!**

**-KAM**


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